Twas the night before Game Seven, when all through Home Ice
Not an announcer was stirring, or offering advice
The microphones were hung in the studio with care
In hopes that Eric Gage would take to the air.
The listeners were nestled all sung in their beds
While visions of Cup celebrations danced in their heads
And Blakeley in his news booth, preparing his cast
Looking up all the stories and stats from the past.
When up in CR2 there arose such a clatter
Pogi had called to indulge in some chatter
The lines were all jammed with callers galore
Each one proclaiming the game’s final score.
The fans of the Red Wings convinced they’ve been wronged
Let down by the league and the refs for a song
The fans of the Penguins were sure it was they
Who were being shafted at the end of the day.
What’s up with this Sidney the Wings fans cry out
Why he’s no more than a wee wittle lout
Pens fans reply it’s not us that do cheat
Your boards are quite bouncy, to aid your repeat.
And your eight-legged friends that you toss with delight
Were funny back when Jack Benny ruled the night
Your goalie is holey your Mule quite the fool
It’s you who tomorrow will be taken to school.
Not so, cried the denizens of Hockeytown
For what is a Penguin but a tuxedoed clown
A bird that can’t fly, like a song that can’t sing
Thus it will be us with the Stanley Cup ring.
Enough, cried out Trigger as he hung up the phones
There’s too much noise and I vant to be alone
Time for a replay or NHL Live
Let’s hear how the Ranger fan somehow survives.
Then Rossy and Espo butted heads on the air
Arguing loudly over what calls were fair
Shalley and Berce compared notes from afar
Though honestly they’d rather be at a bar.
Thistel just whistled as Boomer complained
About this thing and that thing again and again
Scotty was off watching Junior be born
For his Habs all these weeks later Mick still did mourn.
The Voice of The War Room prepared to exclaim
The Red Wings have won the Cup once again
But just to be safe, he also did say
The Penguins went north and stole the Cup away.
On Malkin on Crosby on Jordan, that Staal
On Fleury on Guerin on Bile-el-sa-maa
On Datsyuk on Osgood on Zetter, the Berg
On Holmstrom on Lidstrom to down flightless bird.
Whether Versus or cable or the NBC
Millions of Yankees may not even see
Their TV sets blank with the digital switch
On the night of the big game, ain’t life a bitch?
And up here in Cold Land, aka Balsillie ville
Make It Seven, heck, Make it 500 Mill
The only way Canada can win back the Cup
Is if Jimbo buys all the teams up.
Game Seven is still just a day’s wait away
Soon the puck will drop and the match they will play
But I heard Thistel exclaim as he left with Jeff Leake
Training camps open in just over twelve weeks.
Tags: 2009 Stanley Cup Playoffs, Dan Blakeley, Detroit Red Wings, Eric Gage, Mike Ross, NHL Home Ice, Phil Esposito, Pittsburgh Penguins, Pogi, Rossy, Stanley Cup, The Voice of the War Room, The War Room, Twas The Night Before Game Seven